Le Me

Full-time Hibernating Bear

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Guilty Pleasures

Cats, Smiling Babies, Sleeping, Snacking and Procrastinating

So, I am in Hong Kong now. I just came about 3-4 hours ago, got dinner and now I'm staying in my uncle's house. I feel really bad about it because they gave us their rooms and they have been very very nice. I will be staying here till Monday so that makes 4 days all together. They have been trying very hard to make conversation but my Cantonese isn't that good and I don't make a good conversationist so yea... They always end in awkward silences.

The wake is tomorrow and I really don't know what to think about it. Honestly, the idea still hasn't really sunk in despite it having been nearly a month. I just. Ugh. When people talk about my grandfather being gone, I still pause for a moment to think and remind myself that he really is gone. I was having dinner with my uncle, auntie and grandauntie and I just got thinking in my own time, about everything. The idea of it itself just isn't real to me. I just saw him in January. I didn't even tell any of my friends what happened. Only one knows I am in Hong Kong only because she took a ride today with my mum and she asked where I was going. I haven't even been looking at pictures. I try to avoid them and have succeeded so far.

My moods hasn't been that obvious either. I mean I do still laugh and joke around, but I get a lot more moody and more upset when I'm alone. I try not to show it when I am around friends though and I believe they haven't noticed anything at all. I do feel okay when I am with them. Like a distraction, I don't really think about it when I'm talking to them.

Now that I am in Hong Kong, I know even less of what I want to do since I don't have my laptop with me. I only have my phone and I guess it would suffice especially since I hardly turn my lappy on these days either. Well then, I'll try to find something to do. In the meanwhile, ciaos!

I have been completely unproductive these few days. I just spend my days sleeping away (even more so than usual). When I'm awake, I want to do something but I don't want to do productive work and I end up wasting all my time away. It's annoying in a sense because I feel really restless sitting around like that. I have been reading, even going back to Mangas, I have been writing, but just nothing related to school. I really need to get back to being productive because more test are coming up and I'm going to Hong Kong next Friday. This restless feeling makes me feel so empty and bored. I have not even been turning on my computer for the past whole week and I want to do nothing yet I get bored when I'm not doing anything. Maybe I'll make some muffins tomorrow or something.

About Hong Kong though, it's almost funny how no one actually knows that I am going up. I mean I will go over the long weekends (Friday to Monday) and I don't have classes on those days. It has occurred to me that I should at least tell someone about me going to Hong Kong and also about what has happened but it just doesn't come out. I just tend to think that it isn't really any of other people's concern and it doesn't really affect them. I ended up keeping it all a secret without much of a conscious effort. The thing is, my grandfather passed away on the 2nd of March and even then, I was doing a project with my friends. Funny how I had mentioned that my grandfather was ill that very same day but when the news came out, and I was still in their company, it just didn't feel right to say anything about it. Well, long story short, I'm going up for the funeral next friday and the news still hasn't really sunken in up till now.

I mean I do know what it means but I have not really faced it yet. Especially because it is happening in a totally different country, and major part in me avoiding to look at pictures of him. It has registered in my mind, but I just haven't felt the whole impact of it yet. Afterall, I only see him once in every few months. I just saw him in January; I expected to see him in august too because I flew up to NY so I really hadn't been anticipating news like that. My Cantonese isn't the best so communication between us have never been the best. Yet, for some reason he was the closest grandparent I had.

I don't know how this affects me really. I don't really think about it alot. It just comes as a passing thought now and then, but I didn't cry upon the news either. It's weird though. I have never cried for people who leave me in this sense. Not for my two grandmothers, not for my 14 year old dog, and now not foe my grandfather. Maybe I'll cry for my cat, but that will be I'm the far future I hope.

I still have class on Friday though, so I have to rush off after class to the airport and yea. I've never been a real fan of airplanes. I do like traveling but I don't like the flying part of it. Haha. Occasionally, I would like to take some pictures of sunsets or sunrise during the plane rides but those are pretty much the only things I like about plane rides.

Let's hope this weekend can be a little more productive for me.

I bought me a pizza to indulge all by myself muahahaha. It's meant to be for two, that's why the 2 drinks, but I always order the same set and eat it all on my own. Sometimes I get people staring at me looking like what the hell? And once I even ate in and the lady was like "are you sure? You are eating alone?" muahahaha I finished everything in front of her anyways.

Well, I don't eat the chicken wings because by then I'm full but. Hey, you can't blame me. The bread is filling. The garlic bread is heaven; especially when it comes out piping hot. Muahahaha.

My exam ended much sooner than I thought it would so I am going home to eat and watch shows like the lazy ass I am. I'm supposed to be doing project work but that still has an entire week and more to complete, so let me reward myself first hahahaha.

I don't know how I did in the exam. I could do those with numbers but I think I got some wrong on the theory side. Overall, it went better than I thought. Honestly, I couldn't stand listening to the lecturer yap any longer so I gave up towards the last two chapters and let her drone on in the background while I zoned out and did other things. I was expecting to go in and not know how to answer half the questions or something. Then again, it was only a 30 questions paper so I might have been fooled. For now, I shall just enjoy my pizza. Tata!

Last Friday, I went to the Universal Studio Singapore (USS) with my friends to celebrate one of my friend's birthday. It is my second time there, with the first time being for Halloween. I did not take any pictures the first time but I made it up this time by spamming many many pictures. I'm not a person who likes to take pictures but I really had so much fun doing so this time. It is good to collect memories of people who has been in my life for sure a long time.

For a little background story, these friends I was out with are both people whom I met a real long time ago. One, I met in Kindergarten (that is like 5 or 6 years old?). Well, it is not like I can remember much from when I was that young but we ended up in the same class when I was I'm Primary 3 and 4 (9 and 10 years old); still, I wasn't that close to her at that time. It was only when we entered Primary 5 and 6 (11 and 12 years old) that we were in the same clique. We ended up getting really close to each other and honestly, she was the only one in the clique that I did not argue with at that time. Even though that may mean that I wasn't as close to her as I was to another, she was one of my best friend at that time.



She is a genuinely nice person, a little shy and hardly expresses her thoughts. A little of a pushover actually because she can be too nice. We started meeting up only recently but we used to be really close in the past. Even though it has been a long while, there hasn't been much of an awkward wall between us.






Another friend, the birthday boy, I met when I was in Primary 1 and 2 (7 and 8 years old). At that time, he used to have a crush on me. Me, being practical me even at that age, never gave it a chance. I always felt it was much too early for a relationship up till I was about 15 or 16. Even though he never said anything about it when I was 7 or 8, he told me about his feelings that he said was of the past when we ended in the same class again in Primary 5 and 6. I didn't really hang out so much with him but during my Primary 5 and 6 years, I was so-called the "popular kid". I got along very well with the entire class - whether or not they were the popular kids or the background people. I spoke to him on a normal basis and also played catching and such with their clique of friends.



He is a person who is a little awkward with his feelings and thoughts but he too is a genuinely nice person. I spent the whole night talking and walking with him, speaking about random things and views on things. We talked of the past, talked of opinions, talked about the nation, etc. He is enlisting the National Service this coming Wednesday and I don't know if I would be able to meet him again before I go to New York. He was studying in Australia for a period of time and it is good to see that he has a goal of his own that he is aiming towards. Many people still do not know what to do about their lives and to have an aim would help to push him down the path.




So the 3 of us went down to USS to celebrate and play. I was really high and crazy and these are the people who I dare to be so crazy without being judged. I told them so many times that I love my primary school days. I never enjoyed my secondary school days even though I never got bullied or anything. I just didn't feel like I fitted in when I was in secondary school. I really had so much fun and so many precious memories from my primary school, so it was really great to catch up and play around like little kids again.



We had some little hiccups before entering but thankfully everything was solved and we even received 2 free express tickets each.



At the Transformers ride:




The mummy ride: omg I really love this one. We went on it twice.





The jurassic park section: this was the first time I came to this area because it was closed for Halloween at that time. We played the little sightseeing tour thingy that seemed way too short for a line that long (we used the express ticket because the wait was 30 minutes even though the park was rather empty. It became 50 minutes by the time we came down). And the rapids adventure which yay! We got wet. I love getting wet hahaha.





We didn't use the drying pods, we wouldn't spend 5 bucks just to get dry hahaha. Instead, we used it to act all dorky XD.

The far far away land: I didn't go to this one before either. This area is more for younger kids and there isn't any really scary rides but we really didn't care. Like we sat on the merry go rounds, went on a small little boat trip, and a small roller coaster.




We watched a really awesome 4D shrek movie in that castle. Like they would spray water and rock the chairs in time with the actions of the movie. It was all free seating and since there weren't much people, we managed to get one of the better seats and I really enjoyed it. I remembered I watched the Ants one in LA years ago when I was still a little kid, and I loved it so much that we went back the next day to watch it again. Obviously, I have not grown up much since then hahaha. Oh and did I mention that I totally ship the donkey and the Dragon? They are so freaking adorable.


A drunken gingerbread man was tending the ticketing booth haha.


Don't know if you can see it but there is a donkey with wings on top of the coaster. Keke.

We then entered Madagascar Land where all the merry go rounds and stuff like that were.






The place was quite empty so we managed to have a wide range of animals to pick from.



Meet my new best friend! I think we look rather alike hahaha.

We then headed back out of Far Far Away land and rode the Accelerator. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of it but it is just this spinning thing that makes you dizzy hahaha. We took a selfie before going in though.



You can see the Cylon and Human rides behind us but one of my friends is afraid of roller coasters, plus the rides were closed that day so we didn't get to ride on it.



I did ride on it before though, on the first time I was here I actually found it not too scary. I used to be really afraid of roller coasters but I think I grew up and learned to enjoy it instead.

We went on to ride the mummy one last time before we snapped many many pictures on the road around.







Because of the fast queues, we managed to finish at about 5+ in the afternoon even though we entered at nearly 2pm.

We snapped more shots at the iconic globe and made I made many many dorky moves hahaha.





To end off the day, we took this picture on the way out.



One friend had to leave but I had dinner with the other and we ended up wandering to garden's by the bay. We walked from there down to the marina barrage and down all the way to the stadium. I have not been walking so much in a long time but we managed to talk all the way down. I had aches the next day though hahaha! My week's worth of exercise as I would call it.

Well, that sums up my glorious Friday. I should really get back on to my school work though haha.

Alrighto! So, many people who knows me both online or in the real world, tend to see me as a person who seems very rigid and serious. I think I give this aura that tells them that I am not to be joked with or else I would get upset.

You know how people smash cakes in to the birthday boy/girl's face as a prank and at the end of the the day, everyone in the party would get smeared with cake all over the cake. I am that person on the sidelines laughing but never participating. No one dares to do anything to me. Sometimes it may seem like a good thing like hey, you are the only one all clean and sparkly, but there is so much fun you miss out on because people just sees you as that totally serious and rigid person (and I don't even get angry at my friends that easily). Then again, pretty much no one celebrates my birthday anyways.

Sometimes I actually want to join in the fun, get all dirty and happy but it is not as if I can tell people throw that shit in my face, you know what I mean?

I can be very serious if I want to; especially when I am doing group work. When I am doing group work I just want things to be done. We could go out for a meal after everything is done and cleaned up but when we are doing work, let's just focus on work. I have a don't-play-attitude when it comes to work. I expect group mates to understand what they are doing and be able to explain their points. It doesn't matter if it is wrong but if they try and made an effort to work on it, I'll be fine with it. But fun time is fun time for me. I can go all high and crazy at random times (without alcohol or drugs, mind you) and just let loose and have fun.

I like to have fun. I may seem to be that all work person but really, I live to enjoy what I am doing. Well, on that note, I am going to the Universal Studios tomorrow afternoon with the bunch of primary school brats. Honestly, these people seems to be the best bunch to see who I really am. With them, I can play and no one would judge me because my craziest days were spent with these brats. Primary school days were the best days in my life. I always say this and so far it is still true. It saddens me that we are no longer as close as before but I'm just glad that we are doing all these get togethers to catch up again.

PS: When I say primary school brats, I don't literally mean they are in primary school right now. These are the precious people whom I have shared my carefree primary school days with.

I just spent my whole morning going to doctors for different reasons. Honestly, I am a person who does not believe in going to doctors. I mean, sure, I'd go if I am very sick or have been sick for a very long time but if it is just a little flu or a cold, I usually let my body do the work and recover itself. I don't particularly dislike going to doctors, it's just sometimes I feel like there isn't a need to waste that money.

Today, I went to collect my TB results. Thankfully, everything went fine and I am cleared for my application. However, I really want to talk about the service of the place. I don't know whether it is supposed to be funny but here is how it went.

My mum had helped me get a queue number while I was in school and the service of the place was horrible. There had been this man scolding the ambassador of the place because he had not received his results despite countless weeks of waiting and going to the clinic. Even though the man was scolded one person, the other 3 on the counters stopped their work to watch the show. That holds up the line and after 15 minutes, only 5 customers has been served for the registration counter. Well, since I was not there, there is little I can say about what had happened then.

When I was there though, I finished my jab and had to consult a doctor to verify the other jabs I have taken through my life. I returned to the counter and told the receptionist exactly that. She looked at me, looked at by paper, and said

"You want to take all these jabs."
That is already a very weird question because those jabs were to be taken as a baby. So I told her
"No, I have already taken these jabs when I was a baby. I just need a doctor to verify I have taken these jabs and sign off for me."

"You took these as a baby," She asked again, so I told her that yes, I did.
"So you didn't take these jabs here then."

I thought I made it quite clear but she just didn't seem to get it. "No, I took these jabs as a baby in the hospital."

"Well then, how can you expect us to sign for you if you did not take these jabs here? You need to go back to the doctor who administered those jabs."

I think I stared at her in disbelief before going all no. Mind you, a eighteen going on nineteen year old girl is told to find a doctor from eighteen years ago who had administrated the jabs just to sign a document even though I had documents of the past records with me. Who knows what happened to that doctor after all those years. Provable chance that he has retired or even passed on.

"I just need a doctor to verify and check that I have taken these jabs. I have my health booklet with me and everything is written inside."

"No, you did not take these jabs here, our doctors cannot do it." I was so ready to facepalm right there and then. Thankfully, another older lady came and took over (not that she did much better since all she did was called yet another lady to attend to me. 3 people before I am finally told that I just need to consult the doctor and everything would be done.

The next doctor I went to is a different type of doctor. Instead of using western treatment, it uses traditional Chinese medication (TCM). Even though less recognised, I think that at least they know what they're doing. The doctor asked the right questions and told me the things I'm doing wrong and what she is doing that would help. When I took my TB jab in the other clinic, I didn't even know what they gave me and what it does (and I still don't). The TCM doctor explained that my body isn't absorbing the nutrients and heat in my body can't escape so it is like my body is on fire. That is why my rash came about so as to sweat out what my body is holding back. Even though I went for the rash, she told me many other things I did not know I was doing wrong. Like how I should sleep ideally at 10, or how I should eat many small meals instead of large ones because my body doesn't absorb well, and stuff like these. She even said I had lots of anxiety, something I didn't even realise myself.

All I want to say is that honestly sometimes the difference in price between clinics can vary alot but there is an underlying reason to it. Spending some money to actually understand your body might end up being more worthy compared to being served medicine you never know does exactly what.