Restless
I have been completely unproductive these few days. I just spend my days sleeping away (even more so than usual). When I'm awake, I want to do something but I don't want to do productive work and I end up wasting all my time away. It's annoying in a sense because I feel really restless sitting around like that. I have been reading, even going back to Mangas, I have been writing, but just nothing related to school. I really need to get back to being productive because more test are coming up and I'm going to Hong Kong next Friday. This restless feeling makes me feel so empty and bored. I have not even been turning on my computer for the past whole week and I want to do nothing yet I get bored when I'm not doing anything. Maybe I'll make some muffins tomorrow or something.
About Hong Kong though, it's almost funny how no one actually knows that I am going up. I mean I will go over the long weekends (Friday to Monday) and I don't have classes on those days. It has occurred to me that I should at least tell someone about me going to Hong Kong and also about what has happened but it just doesn't come out. I just tend to think that it isn't really any of other people's concern and it doesn't really affect them. I ended up keeping it all a secret without much of a conscious effort. The thing is, my grandfather passed away on the 2nd of March and even then, I was doing a project with my friends. Funny how I had mentioned that my grandfather was ill that very same day but when the news came out, and I was still in their company, it just didn't feel right to say anything about it. Well, long story short, I'm going up for the funeral next friday and the news still hasn't really sunken in up till now.
I mean I do know what it means but I have not really faced it yet. Especially because it is happening in a totally different country, and major part in me avoiding to look at pictures of him. It has registered in my mind, but I just haven't felt the whole impact of it yet. Afterall, I only see him once in every few months. I just saw him in January; I expected to see him in august too because I flew up to NY so I really hadn't been anticipating news like that. My Cantonese isn't the best so communication between us have never been the best. Yet, for some reason he was the closest grandparent I had.
I don't know how this affects me really. I don't really think about it alot. It just comes as a passing thought now and then, but I didn't cry upon the news either. It's weird though. I have never cried for people who leave me in this sense. Not for my two grandmothers, not for my 14 year old dog, and now not foe my grandfather. Maybe I'll cry for my cat, but that will be I'm the far future I hope.
I still have class on Friday though, so I have to rush off after class to the airport and yea. I've never been a real fan of airplanes. I do like traveling but I don't like the flying part of it. Haha. Occasionally, I would like to take some pictures of sunsets or sunrise during the plane rides but those are pretty much the only things I like about plane rides.
Let's hope this weekend can be a little more productive for me.
About Hong Kong though, it's almost funny how no one actually knows that I am going up. I mean I will go over the long weekends (Friday to Monday) and I don't have classes on those days. It has occurred to me that I should at least tell someone about me going to Hong Kong and also about what has happened but it just doesn't come out. I just tend to think that it isn't really any of other people's concern and it doesn't really affect them. I ended up keeping it all a secret without much of a conscious effort. The thing is, my grandfather passed away on the 2nd of March and even then, I was doing a project with my friends. Funny how I had mentioned that my grandfather was ill that very same day but when the news came out, and I was still in their company, it just didn't feel right to say anything about it. Well, long story short, I'm going up for the funeral next friday and the news still hasn't really sunken in up till now.
I mean I do know what it means but I have not really faced it yet. Especially because it is happening in a totally different country, and major part in me avoiding to look at pictures of him. It has registered in my mind, but I just haven't felt the whole impact of it yet. Afterall, I only see him once in every few months. I just saw him in January; I expected to see him in august too because I flew up to NY so I really hadn't been anticipating news like that. My Cantonese isn't the best so communication between us have never been the best. Yet, for some reason he was the closest grandparent I had.
I don't know how this affects me really. I don't really think about it alot. It just comes as a passing thought now and then, but I didn't cry upon the news either. It's weird though. I have never cried for people who leave me in this sense. Not for my two grandmothers, not for my 14 year old dog, and now not foe my grandfather. Maybe I'll cry for my cat, but that will be I'm the far future I hope.
I still have class on Friday though, so I have to rush off after class to the airport and yea. I've never been a real fan of airplanes. I do like traveling but I don't like the flying part of it. Haha. Occasionally, I would like to take some pictures of sunsets or sunrise during the plane rides but those are pretty much the only things I like about plane rides.
Let's hope this weekend can be a little more productive for me.
Labels: daily activities, grandfather, life
Obviously in construction at the moment... or maybe forever because I'm lazy like this ;)
Visit Montana, Yellowstone National Park