Sex and Abuse
In light of my previous entry, and the upcoming movie hitting the theaters here on Valentines Day, 50 shades of grey, I'm once again, going on the whole topic of sex. Yea, I know that you're probably getting tired of it right now, but it just happened that my school published an entire campus newpaper on the topic itself which you can read right here.
To start off, the system here believes entirely on educating people to its fullest. I know this sounds kinda obvious maybe, but it isn't something that happens in Asia. We keep the conversation to families mostly. Like literally, the only talks I have heard from school is about menstruation, and we were separated from the guys so who even knows what they were talked about. I can't say for sure which way is better - to educate or leave it to their own curiosity. But I can only say sex here happens way more than it does in Asia. The whole premarital sex stigma exists more from where I am than it does here. People generally don't care if you are a virgin as long as you have some respect to keep it faithful, and just not "be a slut". But the weirdest thing that happens here is that if you ever say you never had sex before, they literally go "really?" It is like the weirdest thing to fathom for them. I literally have people asking me you've never kissed anyone before? You've never dated before? What?! How can that be?! For those who wonder what other responses I usually get back home, it usually goes like: "Don't worry, just focus on your studies now.","Dating's nothing much really. If the right guy comes along, then he comes; if not then who cares." or even "YEHHH, SINGLES FOREVER, *high fives*.
I know this whole issue of sex in my campus right now is due to the 50 shades of grey coming up soon. Let me make it clear that I haven't read all the articles in here, nor have I read 50 shades of grey but this was just disturbing not only for me, but for a fellow American student as well.
I mean this is, although it is college, still a campus. I entered college early but I was 16 when I started. If we go with the normal, 17 year olds and 18 year olds are here as freshmen and these newspaper are printed on bulk and left all over campus. I may be an exception to this, but I can honestly say that this is the first time I have seen images like this despite how much I read sex scenes, etc. (well, considering that I read them in literal words). I have no specific point in this post really; I'm just wondering how appropriate this is? All I can say is, I'm not the only one flustered about this issue. I spoke to 2 other girls from my dance club and both were so confused with why this paper was even published. I mean in a way it is a good thing that it was published. I can bet that this is their most popular issue in a long while, and it is informative in some ways, but was it appropriate? And again, it makes a lot of sense when you see the stats of it published in the same paper.
I mean... 6% had sex from 12-14??? I'm confused??? Like what??? You were just a kid then??? and then 38% from 15-17. That in itself is more than those who never had intercourse. I used to think that people are virgins until they say otherwise, but now I'm starting to think that more people than I knew of probably sitting next to me in class or something, are not. Like I said, I have no point in this, just sharing information and general thoughts (mortification, really) on how sexually active people are and from what a young age even.
Another thing I just want to briefly touch on, is the whole 50 shades of grey fiasco.
I read a lot. I read a lot more fan fiction - which was what 50 shades started off as. And I am here to say that I did try to read 50 shades just to see what everyone was talking about. I read one chapter and I was bored out of my mind, and just never touched it again. Thankfully, I was reading it as a free ebook so I didn't spend a cent on it. But from what I read online about the book, I don't support it at all. Not only are there so many other books (with sex) that deserves this recognition that 50 shades is getting, it is just not morally right.
So I have said that I don't watch porn but I do read a lot of sex scenes both in published books and in fanfiction. In fact, I'm going to come out and say that I usually skip normal sex scenes but not BDSM scenes. Maybe it makes more sense to me since it isn't all about the sex itself but more of the build up of the tension and everything. So really, I'm more for BDSM than sex itself. But reading these quotes make me sick to the gut. I really need to read the book to its end (no matter how boring it is) to really set a full opinion of my own on the book but from these quotes itself, it spells abuse and not BDSM.
And I'm just going to say, these quotes from the book does not say BDSM, it's rape in an abusive relationship. From what I read from these, it's like he doesn't care about how she feels and just wants his own pleasure. He is threatening her, pushing her into fearing him, and just simply telling her that she can never get away from him. I can't say much about it since I have not read the entire book really, but I have read books and fanfics of BDSM that does not involve threatening someone and in fact of mutual trust and respect. The girl doesn't even trust the guy. He is demeaning her and making her feel stupid.
Well, that is all I have to say about this for now. Hopefully this topic wouldn't come up for a while now. Ciaos, till next time. Stay safe, folks
Labels: buffalo, nsfw, rant, sex, tw: rape, USA
Obviously in construction at the moment... or maybe forever because I'm lazy like this ;)
Visit Montana, Yellowstone National Park